I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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