Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize