My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
