We're facebook friends in real life
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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