do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
