I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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