elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
