i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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