I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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