please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
