I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
