literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just found puke in my bra..
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
