Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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