Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
