Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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