Do you still have your period?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
