I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
