I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
