we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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