Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
