Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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