Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
