She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
