My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
