During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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