I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
