sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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