question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
