kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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