There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
