You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
