planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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