She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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