We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
