Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
barbara walters just said penis...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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