just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need to sanitize my soul.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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