Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
