this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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