She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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