Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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