Swine flu. Run for my life!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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