Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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