The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
