If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize