Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
