I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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