Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
