You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
