The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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