We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
this just has baby written all over it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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