Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
