I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
