So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
