Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
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