I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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