So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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