I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
