Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
