My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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