he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
