whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Drunk is not a location!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
